Over the years, I have received comments and answered questions about my stitching (the stitching itself, not just the projects) and I've written in a lot of posts about how I stitch and my preferences, but I've never put all of that in one post that's easy to reference. I recently received another question about how I stitch, and it put me in mind to finally just describe it all in one post.
Now, then. You may notice I've entitled this post, "How I Stitch" and not "How To Stitch." If you've been in the stitching community for any length of time, you may have noticed some stitchers are oddly defensive of the way they stitch, with references to "the Stitching Police" thrown around any time someone offers tips or suggestions for how to stitch or improving stitches. I don't know why this is the case. Perhaps it has to do with being taught to stitch by beloved mothers and grandmothers, and any suggestion of a different method is interpreted as criticism and taken very personally.
Let me say up front, I don't care how you stitch. I've mentioned before, I once watched a video of someone stitching in hand using the sewing method, and I almost passed out from anxiety, but I would never dream of telling that person they're doing it wrong. That's me, that's my issue. If they enjoy it and are happy with the results, that's what matters. Unless I'm asked, I keep my thoughts (and anxieties!) to myself.
But since I've been asked a number of times, here goes! Make yourself a cup of tea and settle in because this is gonna be long. If you're not as happy as you want to be with how your stitches look, maybe you'll find something helpful. If you're happy with your stitches, sit back and behold the struggles of a perfectionist. When I was asked what "my secret" was, I responded "I'm compulsive!" I kinda wasn't joking.
Fabric Tension
I stitch with my fabric as tight as possible. My preferred tools are q-snaps, and I have a large collection that allows me to stitch any size design, from very small to very large (like this and this). Scroll rods and hoops are other tools for keeping fabric taut, but I find they don't work as well for me as q-snaps. I like the even tension on all sides they provide. That even tension pulls the holes of the fabric open, which is important for pretty stitches. This is one reason why I don't stitch in hand. (The other is keeping the fabric clean, but we'll get to that.)
A couple of things about q-snaps:
I never, ever put the snaps over my stitches. That's why I have so many sets, which allows me to make frames of any size and shape to accommodate the entire design inside the frame, without having to reposition it or put the snaps over stitching. And yes, I have left designs on them for years, and it makes no difference because the snaps are always over the excess fabric around the sides.
The snaps will get loose over time, a problem which is easily solved by putting strips of white felt under them.
Fabric, Thread, & Needle Size
I stitch on 28 or 32 count linen or even weave, using two strands of thread, with a Bohin 28 needle. (Bohin 28s will go through a standard size 11 seed bead, so I can stitch and bead at the same time without switching needles. I only use a beading needle if I'm using petite beads.)
I don't use thread conditioner; I've never seen the need for it.
I like my stitches to look like mosaic tiles, not little x's with a lot of fabric showing through, and I find that two strands on either 28 or 32 count gets the job done, as long as I'm...
Railroading
In my opinion, the single most important thing you can do to make stitches prettier is to railroad. I did a post about railroading years ago, and as I mentioned there, was surprised how many stitchers had never heard of it. Though it may slow you down a bit at first, it's quite easy and makes a huge difference in how stitches look.
Stitch Construction & Direction
This is where I really let my perfectionist flag fly, y'all. And this is also where, I think, there is the most variance in how we stitch: top right to bottom left? top left to bottom right? bottom left to top right? cross each stitch as you go? one leg, right to left, crossing on the way back? There are so many different ways to construct a stitch.
The point here is not to critique each method for constructing a stitch (or row of stitches), but to point out that the different methods produce different results. If you use different methods in the same project, it will be noticeable, and the overall look will not be as uniform as you might want. There is a common saying in the stitching community that as long as the top leg of the stitches all go in the same direction, nothing else matters. That's very true, if that's what matters most to you. If, however, you're interested in your stitches looking as uniform as possible, the construction and direction of your stitches matters. A row where the bottom leg is stitched and then crossed on the way back will look slightly different from a row where each stitch is completed before the next.
I make the bottom leg of my stitch from the top right to the bottom left, stitch a row of these bottom legs from right to left, then come back and make the top leg of the stitches from top left to bottom right. From what I've observed over the years, both from "official" instructions and my fellow stitchers, this is sort of an unconventional method, as most seem to construct their stitches bottom to top, instead of top to bottom. However, top to bottom is how I was taught as a five-year-old, and the motion of drawing the thread toward me in a downward motion has always seemed more natural than drawing it away from me in an upward motion. It's also how I write an X: the right stroke first, top to bottom, then the left stroke, top to bottom. So it's an intuitive motion for me. Yours is probably different, and that's fine. Just choose a method and stick with it for the most uniform results.
Since I mentioned that I stitch the bottom leg of a row of stitches first, and then come back and cross them, you may be wondering how I follow the "cross each stitch as you go" rule for hand-dyed and variegated threads.
Answer: I don't.
In fact, it's my favorite rule to break. Years ago, I did an entire post about how to stitch with variegated threads and described the different methods, with photos of the results of each method. I won't repeat all that here, but the short answer is, I generally dislike the stripey look produced by crossing each stitch as I go, so I just stitch with variegated threads as I would any other. And I often mismatch the strands if I'm stitching something with lots of texture (trees, grass, hair, fur, etc.).
Speaking of rules, there's also a rule that you should always "come up in a clean hole and go down in a dirty hole", meaning you should always bring your needle up in a hole with no other threads, and down in a hole that already holds threads. I don't pay much mind to this rule either, as I find that if the fabric is stretched taut on q-snaps or something else, the holes are pulled open enough that it doesn't matter. If, however, you don't stitch on tight fabric, you might find this rule useful.
Washing and Ironing
If you've been around the stitching community any length of time, you'll probably have noticed the subject of washing needlework is as touchy as religion and politics. Here again, my position is "you do you, and I'll do me." I don't wash my projects, but if you do, that's just fine.
I was brought up in a family of needleworkers, and though I'm generally a breaker of stitching "rules", the one I absolutely will not violate is to never pick up my stitching without having washed my hands. I learned this as a little one stitching huge x's on a piece of gingham fabric (one x per each colored square; a great way to teach children to stitch, by the way), and I've followed it religiously. I do not touch fabric without having washed my hands, not even to look through it or cut it.
I iron my fabric before I put it on the q-snaps. If necessary, I give it a very light mist of water before ironing. I've never had hand-dyed fabric bleed, even if it's not colorfast. I place the ironed fabric on the q-snap and it stays there, nicely stretched, until the project is completed. When it's done, I remove it and stretch it for finishing or framing. So in that process, I'm working with a clean, pressed, and stretched piece of fabric from start to finish.
I can hear the objections: the oils from your skin, you've been handling the threads if not the fabric, there will be marks you can't see, etc.
All I can say is, for me, it's not a problem. We have needlework in our family that's 50+ years old, hanging on the wall, and it looks fine. It was stitched with clean hands, using a scroll frame or hoop, and all is well. My LNS of many years didn't recommend washing a finished piece unless it was visibly dirty or had been stitched in hand. But I'm sure there are others that do recommend it. The point is, do what you're comfortable with. If you want to wash, take precautions for bleeding and wash away. If you don't want to wash, take precautions for cleanliness and skip it.
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So those are the basics of how I stitch. Hopefully it's helpful, if you needed help. If you didn't, carry on! We each have to pursue this craft in a way that makes us happy, otherwise, what's the point?
One last thing: tabs are your friend! The tabs at the top of the page have loads of information from years and years of posts, the "how to" and "finishing" tabs particularly.
Happy Stitching!