This adorable design by Sampling of Memories (and available here) perfectly captures my approach to the holidays: I want a quiet, low-key Christmas. I want to enjoy the holidays, not stumble through them in a mad rush to "get everything done." Because that's what I want, I've made choices. And making choices is often the critical point of breakdown between wanting something and having something.
Last week I mentioned that I have some habits that I keep to strictly in order to avoid holiday craziness, for which my tolerance is extremely low. What I consider "holiday craziness" may be exciting "hustle and bustle" to you. And that leads me to this: Everyone's idea of what constitutes a "perfect Christmas" will be different, as well it should be. People value different things. Christmas at my house might bore you out of your skull and Christmas at your house might send me to the hospital. If you love a holiday season of going places and doing things and being up to your eyebrows in all things Christmas, then I say, "Enjoy!" If you'd rather quietly watch the holidays drift by from the comfort of your stitching chair--with occasional visits to the kitchen to replenish the cookie tray--then pull up a chair.
Just as everyone's idea of what makes a perfect Christmas will be different, so will everyone's idea of what makes for a quiet Christmas differ. To paraphrase Goldilocks, "This one's too boring, this one's too busy, but this one's just right." Beyond deciding you want your Christmas to be quieter, slower, smaller--which seems to be a commonly felt impulse in the midst of the Christmas rush--you must decide what that looks like for you.
Is it narrowing down holiday parties from five to two? Or is it foregoing them altogether? Or is it choosing your one favorite and enjoying that one to the fullest?
Is it baking only six dozen cookies instead of ten? Or is it buying them instead of baking them? Or is it baking one batch of your favorite recipe and taking it down to the fire station?
Is it committing to fewer charity events? Or is it redirecting your efforts from attending events to giving? Or is it volunteering instead?
Is it winnowing your Christmas card list? Or is it skipping cards completely? Or is it choosing New Year cards instead, which can be filled out in the post-holiday quiet?
Is it passing the responsibility for the big family dinner to someone else? Or is it changing it to potluck where everyone brings a dish? Or is it changing it to a coffee/dessert/game night?
After giving it some thought and deciding what a quieter Christmas looks like for you, the next step is the hardest: make choices. And this is the point where the breakdown occurs. Many people lament the busyness of the holidays every single year, but will not make the choices that can alleviate that busyness. From my observations, there seem to be two reasons for that: they don't want to "give up" anything and/or they're locked into a vision of what Christmas has to be--often someone's else's vision (the retail industry, the entertainment industry, that one family member everyone has... ).
As for "giving up" cherished holiday traditions in pursuit of a quieter Christmas, the examples above illustrate that there is a way to do the things you value that doesn't leave you a frazzled mess in January. You just have to be willing to make those choices. The same goes for being locked into a particular vision of what Christmas should be. Is that vision really the kind of Christmas you love? Or is it what you think is expected? When complaining about the madness of the holiday season, how many times have I heard people say, "Well, if I had my way..." Well? Why don't you have your way? At this point, I can hear readers thinking, "That seems kind of selfish." Two questions: 1) Is it selfish to push back against the unrealistic expectations imposed upon us? 2) Is it selfish to try to reclaim from the chaos the things we value most?
Once you've decided what a quiet Christmas looks like for you, and what choices you have to make in order to achieve it, it's time to come up with a plan of how to implement the changes you want to make. Your Christmas and your choices will be completely unique to you, and only you can craft the plan you need. Tomorrow I'll be sharing some of the things I do to keep our Christmases quiet, and while those things may not work for you, perhaps they will inspire some out-of-the-box thinking that leads you to your own solutions.
Come on back tomorrow for more Christmas in July!
Christmas Bake by Sampling of Memories (link above), stitched on 28 ct. Muffin
(I don't know the manufacturer of the linen--it's a flea market find)
with GAST Buckeye Scarlet and Otter Creek
Beads: Mill Hill 2011; Buttons: Hobby Lobby